Live like there's no tomorrow

Life

2011-10-09T20:41:00.001-07:00

I guess the marginal benefit I give to people is not enough to cover the marginal cost for people to accept the real me.

Quote

2011-10-02T16:41:00.001-07:00

“Limited in his nature, infinite in his desire, man is a fallen god who remembers heaven.”

-Alphonse de Lamartine, French romantic poet.

梦

2011-09-23T17:26:00.000-07:00

倘若这是梦，我情愿永远不会醒来
哪怕只是一秒钟的情节流失我脑海，
哪怕只是微微的感觉消失我心里，
我也不会原谅我自己

为何这梦让我拥有不可能的梦
却又恨恨地把我敲醒...

Night #

2011-08-29T19:19:00.000-07:00

Jealousy, are you blinding me to see what I really want?

照片

2011-07-24T21:39:00.000-07:00

突然想看看以前的一些照片
唉。。。老啦老啦
以前的笑容是怎么做到的。。。
现在也只为了笑而笑，连曾经笑过也忘了
剩下的只有尴尬的笑容

以前也比较瘦，还是现在的相机比较厉害
哈哈
颜色倒没变，还是黑黑的。。。
可是近来的照片看起很累。。。
唉。。。老啦老啦
哈哈

Love story

2011-07-17T19:59:00.001-07:00

Love story is a cliche that everyone wants. *sighed*

Life

2011-07-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

Problems and problems and problems..everyday

雨

2011-07-06T21:20:00.000-07:00

下雨了，人们的脚步变快了。。
纷纷在雨中离开，仿佛看见了伤悲的警告

冷风轻轻掠过，唤起了已往的孤单
这雨天，
没有日出的灿烂，也没有日落的感慨，只有淡淡的哀愁

伞，虽然挡住了雨滴，却挡不住雨天的感觉，否则，脸上为何还有丝丝的落寞

这
雨天陪伴我的是让雨水歇息的玻璃窗，雨的气息，寒冷的空气，一枝笔，一张纸
和
我

窗外的雨再美，也只是为了衬托天空的灰

不再等雨停，带着背包，穿起外套，撑着伞，哼着歌
慢慢地，慢慢地走
期盼彩虹的出现

Night

2011-06-27T18:28:00.001-07:00

Every time I feel sad, this lyric will appear in my mind
當冬夜漸暖....

薛凱琪 - 除下吊帶前

2011-06-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

填詞：黃偉文

Perfectionist

2011-06-10T21:02:00.000-07:00

A perfectionist who follows what the society considers to be perfect and ends up being just another face in the crowd. You can't really do what you like by being a perfectionist.

I want to do it my way....

只说给你听

2011-06-07T20:53:00.000-07:00

Night #

2011-06-06T19:28:00.001-07:00

當冬夜漸暖.....

Night #

2011-05-31T21:09:00.000-07:00

Bought wrong apples, sour !

Afternoon 2...

2011-05-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

What is the difference of being ambitious and being jealous?

Afternoon 2

2011-05-28T12:42:00.000-07:00

A vision without action is a form of hallucination
A dream without action is just a dream

Morning 1

2011-05-23T06:13:00.000-07:00

The stupid fire alarm went off 7 times last night from 1.42am until 7.30am. Did I sleep? HELL NO!!!! I have a class in the morning and work in the afternoon, I just want to kill that bastard who triggered the fire alarm. Some point, I rather die than getting up from my bed to "escape" for my life.

Then I received email this morning that my class is canceled. THANK GOD!

Afternoon 1

2011-05-22T12:18:00.000-07:00

Hate and love Jean Gebser - "The ever-present origin"

Night 6

2011-05-20T21:31:00.000-07:00

Have lots of reading to do and a paper to write!

Today moved to another room for the summer. So small! No attached bathroom! Looking forward to see who my roommate will be.

Night 5

2011-05-17T18:13:00.000-07:00

Summer class starts!!! I am taking foundation of leadership this summer and I have serious problem with "talking". The class is small, just 6 students in total. Therefore, the class is more like a seminar. This morning, I were supposed to talk and discuss about the reading in class but I just couldn't open my mouth. "sigh" It's more obvious when the class is small.

Judging from the first class, I found that US students can really speak out and have wider knowledge about the on going events around the world, even history. It seems that I have a long way to go!

Working in Enrollment Office again this summer, what's special is I am going to answer the phone calls! Hahaha..If you call Rice's undergraduate admission, the person who is going to answer the phone probably is me. I never thought of applying to this kind of "speaking" job but I was assigned to. BTW, my colleagues are very very nice. I haven't started answering any calls yet because I have to read a long list of information about Rice. Tomorrow will be my first day answering calls, very nervous! My supervisor will be there to help me hang up phones calls! Hahaha...jk, I mean putting calls to hold while I flip through the information for answers. I think no only me will be nervous tmr, but my two supervisors will too. LOL

I have been conference in to listen to calls for the past 2 days and it is so difficult! People have accents across US and the world, (well, I have accent too) I wonder whether I will understand their questions. They have a lot of complicated questions but one thing I learned was, the first 1 - 2 min of their talks are useless, they simply express who they are, and blah blah blah, the true questions come in the end.

Ahh...so much talking and listening this summer, HOW AM I GOING TO SURVIVE!

Night 4

2011-05-15T21:29:00.001-07:00

What a lonely night!

A whole new world

2011-05-14T23:00:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow will be a better world, since I still don't know what I want, let me open my heart this time to try everything. It's not easy but I want to change my anti-social behavior and embrace different things.

Night 3

2011-05-14T21:15:00.001-07:00

What should I do with my life?

Night 2

2011-05-13T10:51:00.001-07:00

I have to open up my ears to listen to what the world has to say...
You know it's the right thing to do...

Listen......

Night 1

2011-05-08T20:27:00.000-07:00

Almost one year in US, but didn't really feel that long. Time flies.....

Life can be boring, very boring! I have the same routine everyday. Am I busy?Not really. Physical tiredness doesn't equal to mentally exciting. I need some new exciting and challenging targets, something that I will like to do in the future. What will they be? Research? or jobs? Maybe I am at the point of thinking what I am supposed to be or who I will be? Well, who I want to be and who I am are different but I will try my best to shorten the gap between those two. ^^

I met a lot of people here. The good thing is, they are different from me. (everyone is unique though) Sometime, it feels like being inside a movie and meeting all these people with different personalities. However, it can be stressful when some of them trying to be the main actor and win the Oscar. I have to admit, not all of them are good, some of them you just want to stay away from. I like stories and want to collect them. I always try to understand the stories behind everyone I met, some fun, some sad, some encouraging and some pretty annoying!

Classes here are not bad, wouldn't say they are all good. What's new? I started to study in group which I never did in the past. Trying to understand WHY in all subjects. Never trust any knowledge or the professors until you proved it. AND ETC. WELL, it seems I am learning... NOT really, I am still undeniably stupid. What I truly learned was, my previous ego was breaking down. For example, I was proud of my math before coming here, at least I had confidence in it. That was naive. When I took multivariables calculus, I was fallen deep down into hell not because the course was hard. Homework and midterms required me to UNDERSTAND math which I realized that I never did in my life. I was amazed by my friends who can explain math instead of telling me what formula to use. I salute whoever major in math. If I can turn back time, I will want to KNOW math.

To be continued......

自由的心

2011-02-17T18:43:00.000-08:00

我想

想要一颗自由的心
不被事业绑着的心
不被名利妒忌欲望锁上的心
不被爱情吸引的心
不被别人影响的心
不被烦恼拉着的心
一颗没有时间的心

这颗风筝的心现在飞得很低
让我学会把绳索都解开
未来自由的心

Pain

2010-07-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just want to stop your mind. No more thinking because I am exhausted. The pain in your heart is not going anywhere. You know what you want - the pain. Every breath you are taking in is a challenge. Hard to get ride of negative thoughts, but I will.

The game has finally began...

" I will always solve... "

家人

2010-07-08T04:29:00.000-07:00

我是一个任性的孩子
只懂得追求我要的

我忘了身边的家人
当路很艰辛，当天空很灰
痛的，不只是我

从前的我不觉得钱是一个问题
错了，我错了
如果我能回去，我很希望能纠正这想法

我哥说的对，我太不成熟，太过固执

当我真正跌入谷底
家人的支持让我感动，落泪
不管我如何任性，跌的多深
他们总会拉我上来

谢谢

<单车> 陈奕迅
作词：黄伟文

“不要不要假设我知道
一切一切也都是为我而做
为何这么伟大　如此感觉不到
不说一句的爱有多好”

“你爱我爱多些　让我它朝走得坚壮些”

“难离难舍总有一些　常情如此不可堆卸
任世间怨我坏　可知我只得你
承受我的狂或野”

淡淡的日子

2010-05-17T22:48:00.000-07:00

在家没什么做，所以听听歌。最近有些不错的歌词。

李治廷-岁月轻狂(岁月神偷歌曲) 前段

水一般的少年
风一般的歌
梦一般的遐想
从前的你和我

手一挥就再见
嘴一翘就笑
脚一动就踏前
从前的少年

啊漫天的回响
放眼看岁月轻狂
啊岁月轻狂

Untitled

2010-02-01T02:29:00.000-08:00

Suddenly awaken from sleep, I couldn't breathe. Every breath was intensively painful in my chest, my heart and my lungs. For 20 years, I never felt so close to dead.

Sitting on my bed for 10mins to wait for it to become better but I was wrong, the more conscious I were, the more pain I felt. I felt my heart beats increasing tremendously, deep breathe destroying my lungs. I was dying.

Want to thank my roommate for accompany me to see the doctor. I know I might faint every minute. Pressing on my chest all the way to clinic, if I were to walk faster and my heart beats increased. I might not able to write this post.

The doctor said I might be allergic to the new medicine that I am taking for my tooth pain or there might be wind in my chest.

I called my sister in law who gave me the tooth medicine, she said the symptoms were not really allergic to those kind of pills. If it was allergic then my lungs are inflamed. It might have been gastric juice flowed up my chest burning the internal until my throat. I never have gastric problem before, she said I might be too stressful which will also cause gastric juice to flow in the reverse way.

During that moment, I missed my home, my family. But I didn't call my parents, they shouldn't worry about me. Last time I did call because was said I might have dengue and my mom cried. If this time I said I can't breathe.....

Long time didn't cry, but this time I couldn't help myself. Life isn't so predictable after all, if I were to die that moment, I want to say sorry to my family.

2009-11-14T00:08:00.000-08:00

一次又一次的痛
几时才会麻木
倘若有一天
我发现已经痛的感觉不到你了
后悔会不会太迟

Mistake

2009-10-06T02:37:00.000-07:00

My biggest mistake came back to hunt me for the second time.
Few years ago, I thought I covered up the mistake but I was wrong.
Finally, I have to face the punishments.
If I were to lose this time, let me face it bravely.

一子错满盘皆落索

Let the Game Begin

2009-09-25T10:33:00.000-07:00

It's time to move on, probably a bit late but " Let the Game Begin."

Describe a place

2009-08-30T04:40:00.000-07:00

Accidentally saw this topic when I was surfing the net.

If you were to describe a beautiful place to a blind person since birth, how would you do it?

Sad day

2009-08-25T07:10:00.000-07:00

Feeling sad today, I don't know why. Therefore, this coffee shop is closing down earlier today. Hopefully it won't happen again.

潘裕文 <近在眼前>

2009-08-24T07:51:00.000-07:00

大樓很高捷運很快可是天很灰
城市裡面我寄居在邊緣想拿夢擦出火焰
腳步很忙渴望很烈可是路很遠
有多疲憊一關燈才發覺思念蜿蜓流過了胸前
放下從前找的未來卻近在眼前
你的身旁才是會開花的世界
我告別閃耀卻迷亂的一切
在風裡回來溫暖又讓麻木的靈魂重燃感覺

A very nice song, especially the lyrics. Hopefully people who don't know the song will love it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jUyAEbklvU8

My hair

2009-08-23T07:34:00.000-07:00

Two posts in one night.

Short hair? Whenever I think of cutting my hair, these are the responds I will get EVERY TIME.
1) So short also want to cut?
2) I thought you cut it yesterday?
3) Waste money, since your hair looks the same every time.
4) Again?
5) You call this long hair?
6) metro sexual
7) You say that everyday.
8) Look at mine, yours also short?

Enough.After i cut my hair, this is the only respond I will get.
1) No change at all.

I like my hair to be very short. The main reason is I am very lazy. I have short hair so I can sleep longer and no need to comb my hair. Secondly, it is easier to take care. Thirdly, short hair is refreshing, LOL. If you know me well, I usually cut my hair before some major tests to save time wasted on taking care of my hair.

So, next time please give me some positive feedback about my hair.Thank you.

Sien-ness

2009-08-23T06:59:00.000-07:00

Just came back from Ipoh. Sadly, the whole floor is empty and my roommate keeps telling me this month is ghost festival.

My holidays are coming to an end and new semester is just around the corner. Every semesters are like a whole new beginning. There are new subjects, new classmates, new lectures, new timetable and new challenges. However, I am still not sure what to take next semester. *Headache*

Besides, most people already know their choices of universities . I am still having one choice or two only. Wisconsin or Minnesota? Please scold me will you? I am too lazy to decide. Tests are coming back to hunt me every weeks when the new semester starts. Hopefully this time I can lose more weight throughout the tests.

My future? You will see in the future.

Sensibility?

2009-08-22T08:13:00.000-07:00

I live in an area where there are many 'uncle' and 'aunties'. No offense but sometimes, things can be quite depressing because of their level of education.

Since my parents are tuition teachers in the area, I often hear funny stories about the students and their parents. Those stories give me great awareness of the power of sensibility. Recently, my mom told me that a girl did very well in SPM. She got 12A1s. However, she didn't apply to any scholarships, have no idea for the future and didn't even know there are scholarships that she can apply to. The reasons behind it probably related to her mom. Do you believe that her mom asked an old guy who sell vegetables about government scholarships? about her daughter's possible futures?

Seriously no discrimination and offense, but rationally and logically, is it normal to listen to someone who sells vege about scholarships? Maybe can. But it is not a good choice. As predicted, her mom got all false information like , "you have to pay the money in full, if you don't have money then don't apply for scholarships." Plus, internet is not reliable, applying through it might be a trap.

What about the girl? She followed everything her mom told her. Besides, when my mom asked her, she thinks that there is only one road after SPM, form 6. I am not saying form 6 is not good. But she is deleting all her other possible options because SHE DID'T KNOW. Another speechless story. *sighing*

It is really important to open up our eyes to the true world.

Questions?

2009-08-21T07:22:00.000-07:00

Seldom make two posts in one day.
Just feel like writing something.

I always like questions starting with why. Especially those that cannot be proven scientifically.

When I was still a kid, I asked my father a simple question. "Why isn't the wealthiest man a Malaysian?" Then my father hesitated. Then he said, we are still not good enough like people overseas. This answer doesn't in anyway satisfy me.

Now I am 19. Still trying to find an answer for it. Maybe is just my characteristic to justify everything with a reason behind it.

But then, will there be a time that no questions will be asked?
What if, this very moment, I inform you that this universe has only one theory, one explanation for everything. Theory X. Now we solved everything, there will be no questions, no doubts, no confusion, no feeling. Imagine each of you questions are answered perfectly with just one theory, scientifically, rationally.

Is it worth to have this theory?

Raining

2009-08-21T02:11:00.000-07:00

Is raining.

I love rainy day. It gives me some sort of quiet and peaceful moment. Especially raining in the evening when there is not much of sunlight inside but only some dim light on the windows. Don't know why, I feel the present of myself during rainy days. Maybe rainy days are relaxing.

When I was a kid, I learned something about 5 elements in the universe from some cartoons. There are fire, water, soil, gold, and wood. Since I love rainy days, I dreamed of controlling the water element in this world. If an angel appears in front ,I will definitely wish to control water. You will be glad I could not, because if I do, I will ensure there are 365 rainy days per year and 24 hours per day.

Besides, raining probably can catch most of my attention. While I am walking, I always ask my friends, why isn't it raining? Then my friends will say, because you are not singing. If you sing, it will rain. * I tried some experiments about singing and raining, but hypothesis rejected.

Is raining beautiful? I do think it is. Raining is the most elegant weather change. For me, raining symbolizes romance and love. A fragrance of love is in the air. If you do look at the sky, you will see dark, cloudy, and stormy sky. So, what is so pretty about raining? To be honest, I have no idea. It might have no connection with the rain you perceive with your eyes, but the feeling you have inside you.

蓝奕邦 - 向前走

2009-08-03T00:32:00.000-07:00

喜欢的歌手出了新歌!!

蓝奕邦 - 向前走

很不错的歌词
写实的内容
正面的想法
这类的歌词已经很少人写了
听听吧！

他的故事
http://hk.myblog.yahoo.com/pong-nan/article?mid=8418

"喝過太多苦水道行若有失修
沿途還盲目到背叛了摰友
當中所有憾事當做試練我的源頭
也算種豐收
記掛純屬念舊定或是舔傷口
遺留懸念漸化成這雙手扣
怎可一生躲於回憶拒絕看透
錯過了縱然內疚
光陰都不可給倒流來補救
如若青春只等於哀愁
寧願我額角多一個皺

再痛也要繼續去向前走
怕了再去奢望某某營救
停留原地踏步倒不交出氣力搏鬥
鬥嬴更多關口
抹去那串眼淚再向前走
過去縱有失望再也不追究
前塵留在舊日既是拋低別又回眸"

Death

2009-07-22T20:52:00.001-07:00

Be good and you will die fastest.

: You finished all you debts and returned to your god.

Be good and you will live longest.

: You are needed to help other people in this world.

Be bad and you will live longest.

: You will continue suffering in this world because you are accumulating karma.

Be bad and you will die fastest.

: You will enter the wheel of rebirth (Samasara) faster and degrad into lower form of living in this world to continue your suffering.

白咖啡

2009-07-16T07:21:00.000-07:00

一杯白咖啡
用耐心
细心
与关心
地泡制

有温度的咖啡
喝出存在的真实

有味道的咖啡
喝出感情的浓度

喜欢一杯白咖啡
普通的白咖啡

可惜每当品尝完
总会有断断续续的头疼
越是想要喝
越是被折磨

看来体弱多病的我
得赶快停止
再换一杯适合我的咖啡